What would the ideal Christmas Day look like for Liverpool supporters?
Waking up on Christmas morning and realising that there actually has been a visit from a bearded eccentric man wearing red, bringing gifts, would be the perfect start to Christmas Day for any Liverpool supporter.
Upon hearing the chimes of ‘You’ll Never Walk Alone‘ echoing from the alarm clock, many a Liverpool fan may well be dashing down the stairs of their Robbie Fowler house – touching the ‘This is Anfield’ sign on the way down, of course – in hope of finding presents from Father Kloppmas.
Pleasingly, just like the Kop on a Saturday afternoon, the stockings are full and brimming with hope.
The first gift opened is, finally, a new left back. James Milner has done a sterling job so far this season – but is not the long term answer to Liverpool’s prayers.
In a Liverpool-themed Christmas Day, It turns out that the Reds have raided the Bundesliga and secured the signing of the recently capped Germany international Benjamin Henrichs from Bayer Leverkusen.
The 19-year-old has been gifted to supporters as the left back of Christmas present, a left back for Christmases yet to come, and a confirmation that the ghost of left back past, Alberto Moreno, has departed for a league where defending is not really too important.
The second Christmas gift for Liverpool fans is…another left back.
In typical family manner, Liverpool’s two middle-aged uncles, John (Henry) and Tom (Werner), have ended up giving the same gift. Uncle John blessed supporters with Henrichs, whilst Uncle Tom has considered that there needs to be two players for each position if the saviour Jurgen Klopp is to continue his encouraging tenure at the club.
However, Uncle Tom is slightly more frugal, as his gift is the announcement that Scotland international Andrew Robertson will be signed upon the expiration of his Hull City contract in the summer.
As with most Christmases, there is always the inevitable falling out amongst family members. Unfortunately for central defender Mamadou Sakho, his falling out of favour with Klopp means that he is likely to depart the club after yuletide.
In Sakho’s place however, is the next item on Liverpool fans’ Christmas list – a top class central defender.
Southampton’s Virgil Van Dijk was top of many a Christmas list, but it is the Klopp project that ultimately swayed the central defender to sign up at Anfield.
It turns out, that Uncle Tom was not so frugal after all – as Liverpool’s very own Ebenezer shelled out almost £40 million for the Netherlands international to become the latest Southampton player to gravitate to Merseyside.
The next Christmas gift is one of those strange stocking fillers that leaves us all bamboozled.
In light of goalkeepers Loris Karius and Simon Mignolet’s tendency to provide gifts for others, in the form of goals, Liverpool fans wanted some glue for their numbers ones’ gloves – and because Father Kloppmas seems determined to stick by the two stoppers – they got duly received some.
The next thing that all Liverpool fans wanted for Christmas was a new ankle for Philippe Coutinho – and if by Christmas miracle, upon checking HITC for their daily news, it breaks that Coutinho has no further ankle issue and will be available for selection immediately.
The penultimate gift to make the perfect Christmas Day for Liverpool followers is the announcement that Daniel Sturridge is completely injury free and will remain so for the remainder of his Anfield career.
The man who has scored 57 goals in just 104 games for the Reds (reaching 50 before Fernando Torres, Luis Suarez, Robbie Fowler, Michael Owen and Kenny Dalglish) has been plagued with injuries throughout his career. However, when fit, Sturridge remains one of the best forwards around.
Liverpool supporters would trade all of these gifts for another shot at the Premier League title in 2017 – whether that materialises, only time will tell.
All that remains for Liverpool worshippers is a Christmas visit to their church of choice – but that isn’t until December 27th, against Stoke City.
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