From disastrous record-signings to gag-reel goalkeepers, United’s transfer record is far from flawless.
United fans aren’t exactly strangers to seeing vast sums of money splurged on over-rated, many would argue over-payed, flops in recent years. After all, Louis Van Gaal managed to blow £250 million in the space of two summers, with just three of his signings starting his final game in charge; the FA Cup final triumph over Crystal Palace.
But the failings of modern times does not mean the past should be gazed upon with rose-tinted spectacles. Sir Alex Ferguson may have been an excellent judge of character, not to mention quality, but the odd anomalie still slips through the net.
And, hey, maybe Paul Pogba isn’t all that bad after all.
Massimo Taibi
Who else? United fans still wake up in cold sweats enduring flashbacks about Roy Carroll’s butter-covered gloves and Fabien Barthez’s despairing self-wedgies, but Massimo Taibi is now and will forever remain the yardstick by which all dodgy goalkeepers are measured.
So horrifying was the ‘The Blind Venetian’s’ timeless gaffe against Southampton, allowing a bobbling daisycutter from Matt Le Tissier to squirm under his body and across the line, that his debut Man of the Match performance against Liverpool was swiftly forgotten.
William Prunier
Despair makes even the most rational human resort to desperate measures. And, when an injury-crisis descended on Old Trafford in 1995, Sir Alex turned to William Prunier to solve his defensive dilemmas.
Prunier had, after all, received his footballing education alongside one Eric Cantona at Auxerre so how bad could he be? A humiliating 4-1 defeat to Tottenham provided a rather emphatic answer. Prunier never featured for United again.
Marcos Rojo
Oh the tournament signing. From El Hadji Diouf to Luis Jimenez, almost every team is guilty of getting carried away with a prospective target on the back of a few decent displays in a one-off World Cup performance.
Marcos Rojo, alternating between left back and centre half as Argentina reached the final in Brazil 2014, arrived in Manchester just a few weeks later to prove that he is equally impractical in either position.
Laurent Blanc
In his day, Laurent Blanc was a top drawer centre-back, lifting the World Cup on home soil in 1998. Unfortunately for Manchester United, that day had long since departed by the time he arrived at Old Trafford.
During a dismal start to his short-lived stint across the channel, United suffered defeats to Bolton, Liverpool, Arsenal, Newcastle and Chelsea. As a rather perceptive tabloid pointed out, that spelled Blanc.
Alexander Buttner
No one could fault his effort. In fact, Alexander Buttner’s work ethic and relentless chasing of wondergoals endeared him to a more forgiving faction of the United support. The others, however, saw him for what he really was. An average left-back who simply wasn’t up to the calibre of a title-chasing side.
Angel Di Maria
Now, a spate of injuries and an ill-timed robbery at his family home hardly helped Di Maria’s transition from Carlo Ancelotti’s thrilling La Decima winners to Louis Van Gaal’s tedium-ensuing United but, even when fit and focused, flashes of brilliance were fleeting at best.
The then club-record signings’ ballooned crosses and wild shots were hardly befitting of a United number seven. Well, except perhaps Memphis Depay.
Kleberson
Jose Kleberson Pereira played 32 times for Brazil. He won the World Cup in 2002. He was, according to ‘Big Phil’ Scolari, the driving force behind a Seleção side blessed with the brilliance of Ronaldinho, Ronaldo and Rivaldo. He also featured just 20 times in two Premier League seasons for Manchester United. What did we say about tournament signings?
Eric Djemba-Djemba
So bad they named him twice, the single residing memory of Djemba-Djemba’s 18 month stint at United is him planting a swift stamp into Sol Campbell’s nether regions in the Community Shield, a ‘tackle’ Arsene Wenger described as ‘obcene’.
Thirteen years on, the ‘Camaroonian Roy Keane’ is now earning his wages at Persipa Padalarang. In case youre interested, they don’t even have a Wikipedia page.
Bebe
They say YouTube montages can be deceptive. And, if you type Bebe’s name into the illusory search engine, you’ll find all manner of wondergoals, from Scholes-esque volleys to swerving, stinging 25-yarders.
But, if you want a more accurate description of the £7.4 million forwards disastrous spell in English football, this is probably your best bet. Quite conceivably the worst signing in the history of Manchester United.
Radamel Falcao
With 72 goals in 87 games for Porto, 70 in 91 for Atletico Madrid, Radamel Falcao simply couldn’t fail in Manchester, even if he was yet to rediscover his electrifying peak following a horrifying ACL injury. Right? Four in 26 games for United doused the dreams with a sobering reality; Falcao, El Tigre, was no longer the fearsome beast that tore through defences at will. He may never be again.
David Bellion
Still in the game with French second division outfit Red Star, David Bellion will forever stand as a reminder that building someone up too early can raise expectations to an unrealistic level. The ‘New Thierry Henry’ some called him.
In the end, Henry scored the same amount of league goals in 40 minutes against Leeds than Bellion managed in 24 24 Premier League for United. A grand total of four. The ex-Sunderland striker wouldn’t even be welcomed back at the Stadium of Light these days. Unless Jermain Defoe gets injured.
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