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EXCLUSIVE: A Copy of Wayne Rooney’s Letter to UEFA

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Manchester United’s Wayne Rooney was red-carded against Montenegro last week. Hereisthecity.com has a sneak peek at his letter to UEFA to try to reduce his ban.

Dear Michel Platini,

I promise not to kick people any more.

Mr Fabio said it is bad.

He said I not allowed to play with my friends any more if I carry on kicking people.

The Monstergogo player said rude things about my hair.

My hair is so long it is now better than Gary Neville’s moustache.

I want to go to Ukraine next summer.

It is better than staying home with Coleen.

Please do not make my ban two games.

I got two game ban for swearing at a camera.

We all know swearing at a camera is far worse than kicking a naughty defender.

If I am banned for a long time, Mr Fabio might play Bobby Zamora for England.

Please do not let this happen.

Sorry.

From Wayne Rooney, aged 25 and 3/4

Image: © nasmac