There’s better service in Lionel Messi’s aborted Bellavista Jardín del Norte restaurant than there is at Arsenal these days.
But, as Mikel Arteta’s misfiring Gunners suffered another Emirates defeat at the hands of Burnley on Sunday night – the first time since 1959 they have lost four on the spin on home soil – even Arsenal’s underfed strikers had to shoulder at least some of the blame.
Alexander Lacazette squandered a glorious early opportunity at 0-0. And while Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang finally found the net from open play after a two-month barren spell, the net rippled at the wrong end – his mistimed defensive header soaring over Bernd Leno to gift Burnley three vital points in their battle against the drop.
But, for the most part, Lacazette and Aubaemyang have been forced to feed of scraps this season, while Mo Salah, Heung Min Son, Dominic Calvert-Lewin and co have a whole buffet-worth of chances served up on silver platters.
So, given that the latest Samba starlet has his pick of Europe’s top dogs, why on earth would Brenner choose this Arsenal side – one who dumped their most creative player and have scored the fourth-fewest goals in the Premier League this season – ahead of AC Milan, Juventus, Ajax and more?
Calciomercato reported recently that Arsenal are keen on the Sao Paolo striker, a 20-year-old labelled the ‘new Gabriel Jesus’ back home in Brazil with a £45 million release clause in his contract.
Mobile, inventive and remarkably ruthless for someone so young, Brenner has already scored 20 goals this season with 13 of those coming in a staggering run of form in the early Autumn.
“I consider Brenner to be one of the best strikers in Brazil today. He moves the plays very well, with just one touch,” Menon, a Brazilian journalist, told UOL after Brenner broke the 20-goal barrier for the first time in his professional career.
But while the Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Cristiano Ronaldo are scoring at a remarkable rate in Serie A, and with Ajax averaging almost four goals a game in the Eredivisie, Arsenal feel like an unfortunate outlier among Brenner’s growing list of suitors.
Unai Emery’s Arsenal reign had more faults than a certain dystopian, cyborg-filled video game but at least the much-mocked Basque found a way to get Lacazette and Aubameyang finding the net on a regular basis.
And there was very little in that miserable defeat at Sean Dyche’s presumably blister-ridden hands to suggest that Brenner could thrive in this most stodgy, most predictable, most plodding of Arsenal teams.
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