In less than twenty days, we will all be able to finally play the long-awaited Kingdom Hearts 3. Although Square Enix has released a bunch of canonical spin-offs, along with the poorly named HD collections, its Kingdom Hearts 3 we’ve all been waiting for since 2005. Despite being a difficult instalment to develop, as well as one that nearly didn’t happen, the darkest chapter in Sora’s saga promises to be amazing. The keyblades are a massive improvement over the infamous toothbrush earned for completing Deep Jungle, the summons are magnificent sights on par with the ones in Final Fantasy 15, and the confirmed Disney worlds are expansive and diverse playgrounds. With Square Enix having confirmed there are no ‘surprise’ Disney worlds, we’ve decided to briefly discuss why we’re – surprisingly – most excited about returning to the Pirates Of The Caribbean universe.
Rather than Atlantica, the worst world in Kingdom Hearts 2 was Port Royal. Aside from Jack Sparrow and Will Turner being thinner than paper, and Elizabeth Swan being a plastic replica with a permanent blowjob face, the level was an annoying bore. The pirates were a pain to defeat thanks to being invincible when out of the moonlight, and the boss fight with Barbosa was an underwhelming tango that was way too easy. It never came close to capturing the comedy and epic set-pieces that made Pirates Of The Caribbean one of Disney’s most renowned franchises.
So, with Port Royal having been an intolerable adaptation that was miraculously worse than listening to a lass sing about her daddy not allowing her to own a boy, why are we excited about returning to the Pirates Of The Caribbean universe? Well, starting with the most obvious, the visuals are eerily realistic. Rather than being another bootleg copy starring a Captain Jack Sparrow too poor for most children’s birthday parties, the character models massively resemble the actors. Johnny Depp looks like Johnny Depp, Orland Bloom looks like Orland Bloom, and Keira Knightley looks like the beautiful woman she is rather than a plastic doll with fish lips.
But it’s not only the visuals that have us excited. Both The Pirates Of The Caribbean and Final Battle trailer have confirmed that fans will play through the whirlpool spectacle seen at the conclusion of At World’s End. This shows how much of an upgrade Kingdom Hearts 3 is over its predecessors. Unlike Port Royal, the Pirates Of The Caribbean world in Kingdom Hearts 3 appears as if it will capture the chaotic and extremely well-choreographed action that made the original Pirates trilogy so enjoyable. Davy Jones is also a tragic and compelling villain befitting of the melodramatic themes in the Kingdom Hearts series, and the ghastly Kraken will make a much-needed appearance.
While Davy Jones’ swan song was a convoluted mess that featured way too many pirates, it appears as if Square Enix has made the wise decision of combining Dead Man’s Chest with At World’s End. With the Organization seemingly looking for the chest and heart that was the object of desire in the second and third film, hopefully the level in Kingdom Hearts 3 is a one to two hour spectacle featuring solely the best moments everyone remembers without any of the political jibber-jabber. However, even if the level merely depicts At World’s End, there’s still more than enough iconic moments for Square Enix to copy - the journey into Davy Jones’ locker, Johnny Depp gallantly riding a bunch of crabs, and the reveal of Calypso.
Square Enix has already discussed how the worlds in Kingdom Hearts 3 are going to be massive playgrounds rather than linear corridors, and this is perhaps most evident in the Pirates Of The Caribbean reveal trailer at E3 2018. Along with fighting heartless on land, you will also be battling them above and below a vast ocean. There’s also ship combat, and we all know how well that worked out for the Assassin’s Creed series.
Kingdom Hearts 3 will finally be available on January 29 for PlayStation 4 and Xbox One. Pirates Of The Caribbean is the world we’re most excited about, but either way the community shouldn’t be upset about there being no ‘surprise’ Disney universes as the confirmed selection is a diverse mix of new and old. While HUGE chunks of the game have supposedly been leaked on Twitter according to the community, fans needn’t threat about the biggest spoilers being released before launch thanks to an ingenious decision made by series director Tetsuya Nomura.
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