Prepare for plenty of cutting remarks as we examine a 'Worst Hair XI' from the Premier League and Championship.
GK: Vladimir Stojkovic (Nottingham Forest) - The 33-year-old Serbia international stopper may well wear an alice band to keep the hair out of his eyes - but this evidently has not helped the Forest keeper. Stojkovic has recently lost his place in the first team, having conceded 37 goals in 20 appearances this season.
RB: Jonas Olsson (West Bromwich Albion) - Another 33-year-old (who perhaps is old enough to know better), West Brom's Swedish defender is renowned for his no-nonsense approach to the game - which makes it all the more puzzling as to why there seems a whole lot of nonsense on his head.
CB: David Luiz (Chelsea) - Of course the Premier League's answer to 'Sideshow Bob' makes the XI - and possibly captains this side. Chelsea's once maverick central defender, David Luiz, has been surprisingly reliable upon his return to Stamford Bridge - although his emblematic mop of craziness remains as unpredictable as ever.
CB: Mamadou Sakho (Liverpool, on loan at Crystal Palace) - Liverpool fans may be forgiven for not noticing the France international's combination of intricate yet flamboyant styling efforts at Anfield over recent years - as the defender's performances have been far more hair raising.
LB: Alberto Moreno (Liverpool) - The second Anfield pick in the back four, left back Alberto Moreno is another who has fallen out of favour since Jurgen Klopp replaced Brendan Rodgers as Liverpool boss. Could it be the German manager's distaste for the barber frequented by his left-sided defensive duo?
See also: The Non-League to Premier League XI
In the case of Moreno, we certainly struggle to find a time in his Liverpool career when his choice of hairstyle has been, shall we say, conformist. As for the tattoos...
CM: Didier N'Dong (Sunderland) - Despite being a relative newcomer to English football, N'Dong is certainly not reserved when it comes to his possibly firework-inspired bleached blond tips. Unfortunately for the Rokerites, N'Dong's main highlights remain on his head, rather than the pitch. Hair-way the lads!
CM: Henri Lansbury (Aston Villa) - January transfer window signing from Forest, midfielder Henri Lansbury, has always been at the forefront of the contemporary hair game. Whether it be the close-shave, the alice-band, the bleach-blond beach look, the mohawk, or the most recent pick - which is reminiscent of Nori from The Hobbit - Lansbury clearly takes a focus on his locks. Consequently, he deservingly makes the XI.
CM: Marouane Fellaini (Manchester United) - Another fairly hairy pick for the worst hair XI, Old Trafford's Fellaini has experienced a Premier League career infamous for elbows and afros.
See also: The Premier League's five youngest debutants: What happened next?
Amazingly, whilst the former Everton-man possesses one of the most recognisable looks in English football, he has tough competition on the hair-front at international level - from compatriots Radja Nainggolan and Axel Witsel.
AM: Jack Grealish (Aston Villa) - Another Villa midfielder to make the XI, 21-year-old Grealish possesses a rather volumatic flop of hair over a drastic shearing - which distracts from, or at the very least embellishes, the talented winger's meandering style of play. Perhaps the minimalist approach to shin pad use counters the over-the-top appearance at Grealish's summit.
AM: Marco Arnautovic (Stoke City) - A decisive convert to the man bun undercut, Stoke's Austrian international forward Marco Arnautovic has been an inspiration at times since his 2013 arrival at the bet 365 stadium - with plenty of crucial goals and influential performances. The 27-year-old even managed to inspire team mate Erik Pieters last season, as the pair both displayed the same cut.
FW: Roberto Firmino (Liverpool) - The Brazilian forward completes a trio of Liverpool contributors to the 'worst hair' XI. Firmino's hairstyle career at Liverpool started respectfully upon his 2015 arrival on Merseyside, with a sleek short-back and sides. However, as with some of his team mates, Firmino's hair has certainly embraced the chaotically maverick Jurgen Klopp regime - as 2016 saw the quite remarkable effort illustrated below.
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