Biting: Luis Suárez v fictional chompers

Luis Suarez Bite

Fangs but no thanks. Liverpool and Uruguay striker Luis Suárez got a four-month ban this week after biting Italy's Giorgio Chiellini on the shoulder during their World Cup clash – the third time Suárez has been caught naughtily gnawing on an opponent. So how do fictional screen biters measure up to the chompy, chipmunk-faced footballer?

Dr Hannibal LecterNovelist Thomas Harris created serial killer "Hannibal the cannibal", a charismatic psychiatrist who chows down on his victims. Thanks to Oscar-winning 1991 thriller The Silence of the Lambs, Lecter became a cultural icon, starring in three film sequels and NBC's critically acclaimed TV drama.

Suárez score 5/5. Shoulders and arms, Suárez? Pah. This bitey bogeyman will eat your face, brain and liver (accompanied, obviously, by fava beans, a nice Chianti and a strange slurpy sound).

Brienne of Tarth

Played by 6ft 3in Brit Gwendoline Christie, the Game of Thrones warrior was Catelyn Stark's sworn sword and later Jaime Lannister's loyal enforcer. The series four finale saw Brienne brutally battle the Hound, climaxing in her biting off his ear and pushing him off a cliff.

Suárez score 4/5. Tasty but a tad too brave. Suárez prefers to wait until his target's back is turned.


Not the shark but the glinting-grinned James Bond henchman. Ian Fleming wrote him as a hoodlum named Horror with steel-capped teeth. In films The Spy Who Loved Me and Moonraker, he was portrayed by Richard Kiel as Jaws: a hulking, near-mute, super-strong, seemingly indestructible henchman.

Suárez score 2/5. Nibbles through a cable car wire but when he tries to fatally bite Bond, 007 uses a broken lamp to send an electric shock through his teeth. Chiellini missed a trick.

Count Dracula

Bram Stoker's 1897 gothic horror about a blood-sucking Transylvanian nobleman defined vampires for the modern era, with the character since appearing in hundreds of stage, film and TV interpretations. Hold the garlic. And draw those curtains.

Suárez score 3/5. Tends to sink his teeth into the neck, rather than shoulder. Inaccurate.


In cult 1985 comedy horror Return of the Living Dead (tagline: "They're back from the grave and ready to party!"), the show is stolen by Tarman, a skeletal zombie who enjoys scoffing brains. In fact, he enjoys it so much, all he can says is "Braaaaaains!" like an undead Homer Simpson. The crunch when he bites into the skull of a punk named Suicide is toe‑curlingly grisly.

Suárez score 4/5. Braaaaaaains! Not something that Tarman or Suárez seem to have in abundance.

Powered by article was written by Michael Hogan, for The Observer on Sunday 29th June 2014 00.01 Europe/London © Guardian News and Media Limited 2010