Ex-Goldman Trader Now Selling Perfect Penile Pouches

Now here's one former 'big swinging d.ck' who appears to be doing rather well. And he's gone from bell curves to bellends in quick succession.

In fact, you might say that 30-year old former Goldman VP Joe Nelson has come up in the world.

After spending 9 years at the Wall Street firm in London, latterly in front office, Nelson quit a few weeks back to set up Theyfit, a company that sells an exclusive range of 95 custom fit condoms.

In an interview with The London Evening Standard, Nelson said: 'Condoms are just like shoes - if I give you the wrong size, they won't be comfortable. We have been told latex fits everyone - but it doesn't work for about half of men. If the condom is too big, it can fall off. For the larger guy, it can be painfully tight, like a rubber band around the wrist. Technically, a condom will fit over my head - but that doesn't mean it'll be comfortable. A better fit means better sex'.

And what do Nelson's family think of his new business venture ? Apparently they have been very supportive. He says his gran, 'at home in Wales is all over this'. The mind boggles.

One banker told Here Is The City: 'There's some poetic justice here - Nelson started his career at a firm which many are convinced has spent years screwing clients, shareholders and anyone else it comes into contact with, and yet here's this ex-employee now earning a living by making it easier for everyone to screw each other. You gotta luv it!'.

image: © lonelypluto911

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