A couple of secretaries from a top Sydney law firm got in an online battle over a missing ham sandwich. Insults flew, names were called, and the story traveled far and wide and in the end, both lost.

The email

Secretary One

‘Yesterday I put my lunch in the fridge on Level 22 which included a packet of ham, some cheese slices and two slices of bread which was going to be for my lunch today.

Over night it has gone missing and as I have no spare money to buy another lunch today, I would appreciate being reimbursed for it’.

Secretary Two

‘There are items fitting your exact description in the level 23 fridge. Are you sure you didn’t place your lunch in the wrong fridge yesterday ?’

Secretary One

‘Probably best you don’t reply to all next time, would be annoyed to the lawyers.

The kitchen was not doing dinner last night, so obviously someone has helped themselves to my lunch.

Really sweet of you to investigate for me!’

Secretary Two

‘Since I used to be a float and am still on the level 19 email list I couldn’t help but receive your ridiculous email – lucky me!

You use our kitchen all the time for some unknown reason and I saw the items you mentioned in the fridge so naturally thought you may have placed them in the wrong fridge.

Thanks I know I’m sweet and I only had your best interests at heart. Now as you would say, “BYE”!’

Secretary One

‘I’m not blonde!!!’

Secretary Two

‘Being a brunette doesn’t mean you’re smart though!’

Secretary One

‘I definitely wouldn’t trade places with you for “the world”!’

Secretary Two

‘I wouldn’t trade places with you for the world…I don’t want your figure!’.

Secretary One

‘Let’s not get person(al) “Miss Can’t Keep A Boyfriend”.

I am in a happy relationship, have a beautiful apartment, brand new car, high pay job…say no more!!’.

Secretary Two

‘Oh my God I’m laughing! happy relationship (you have been with so many guys – yep really happy relationship with xxxx xxxx), beautiful apartment (so what), brand new car (me too), high pay job (I earn more)….say plenty more…..I have 5 guys at the moment! haha’.