Eavesdropping on a First Date

People From Above Scott Liddell

I was out for lunch with a friend the other day and we were chatting over a glass of wine, minding our own business. But it was a small restaurant, and we could not help but overhear what was going on at the table next to us: a first date.

We're pretty sure they hadn't met before, and it all started off nicely enough. He seemed to have lurked outside so he could come in a few minutes after her. He joined her, they looked at the menu, and ordered their food. So far, so good. But it was rapidly downhill from there, when he proceeded to give her the third degree. “So,” he started his opening question, “how exactly did you decide to do that degree?” That was followed by questions about her background, her career path to date, and long- and short-term plans. For a little while we thought perhaps this was a job interview, and we were just being a bit dim. But no, it was certainly a first date.

She started to get agitated. To be honest, we would have been, too. Once finished with the interview for the position of Mrs X, he proceeded to outline in detail his own achievements. Boy, oh boy, could he talk for England! First topic was his rather boastful account of his newly refitted kitchen, detailing the expenses and the quality of the material. That topic saturated, he moved on to his three-week tour of Europe, which sounded rather jolly, probably involved more drink than culture, and was more than five years ago. What really made us smile, though, was the fact that he really didn’t get it. He was honestly convinced he was a good catch. Petal. She just went “aha” followed by “hm-hm” and then alternated between the two. We admired her patience; she kept on smiling throughout.

They finished their main course, and the waiter came to check if they wanted some coffee. And that’s when it showed. She did not know how fast she could say no and discretely ask for the bill. Although we didn’t work out what excuse she used, she must have been so pleased that she had not agreed to meet the guy on a Saturday, or even for drinks after work.

Still being a gentleman, he insisted on paying for the meal. Whilst waiting for the bill, she told him she was travelling next week. We noticed she neglected to tell him when she would be back. It’ll be a long wait by the phone for him.