If Your Firm Were Popstars, Who Would It Be ? (Updated)


Here's an oldie for a Friday.

ABN AMRO - Wagner (They still around ?)

AllianceBernstein - Matisyahu (Both are cool, Jewish and been off the radar a bit of late - but are on their way back!)

Bank of America - Garth Brooks (both hail from the southern United States, are overweight and haven't had a hit for years)

Bank of America Merrill Lynch - Oasis / The Gallaghers (Both sick of the sight of one another)

Barclays Capital - Susan Boyle (both are carrying a bit too much overhead)

Bear Stearns - Milli Vanilli (you work it out)

BlackRock - Lady Gaga (totally original and at the top of their game)

BNP Paribas - Serge Gainsbourg (Both are recognised for their genius in France, but seen as one-hit wonders everywhere else)

Citi - Meat Loaf (big, out of fashion, but determined to make a successful comeback)

Commerzbank - Jedward (say no more)

Credit Suisse - Ozzy Osbourne (not in the news as much these days, and trying to grow old gracefully)

Fannie Mae / Freddie Mac - Britney Spears (All three were dysfunctional messes and in conservatorship. At least Britney's on the mend)

Gartmore - Queen (you're nothing without your top man)

Goldman Sachs - Jay-Z (both have their fingers in almost every pie you can imagine)

HSBC - Boy George (both coming to terms with their size)

Jefferies & Co - Bruce Springsteen (both achieved success by overcoming the odds and remain true to their roots)

JPMorgan Chase - The Rolling Stones (both have a good front man, a strong following and will be around forever)

Lazard - Rod Stewart (still up there after all those years)

Lehman Brothers - Michael Jackson 

Lloyds TSB - Paul McCartney (Both had disastrous marriages that almost cleaned them out)

Merrill Lynch - Jim Morrison (both deceased, but still have legendary status)

Morgan Stanley - Kylie Minogue (both have had a very good run, but many feel that their best years are behind them)

Perella Weinberg Partners - Justin Bieber (very young, very successful and growing up fast)

Renaissance Capital - Simply Red

Societe Generale - Johnny Hallyday (French eccentrics that somehow remain popular - at least in France)

Standard Chartered Bank - Dolly Parton (both are big in certain areas)

State Street - Coldplay (both big groups, but not really sure what direction they are headed in)

The Royal Bank of Scotland - Sheena Easton (both are Scottish, came out of nowhere, had a brief period in the sun, and then bombed).

UBS - Madonna (been around for ages, but seen better days)

UBS - Kraftwerk (Driving, repetitive, with a strong desire to be odd and awkward. Both release their stuff in separate versions - one for sale in Switzerland, Germany and Austria, and one in English for the rest of the world)

WestLB - The Drifters (both have had multiple reincarnations over the years and are now past it)

Wells Fargo - Fleetwood Mac (been around a long time in various guises, but still doing the business)

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