MEGAPHONE MEETINGS

Megaphone - Marcelo Barboza

blahblahblah, here we go again...

I'm in a meeting with my colleague (a peer, and a boy) and my manager (one of the boys) about a deal that the colleague and I are working on together.

As usual, the colleague switches on his megaphone power voice and starts blaring common sense remarks across the table, with a righteousness like he's talking to a misbehaving toddler instead of grown up people in a meeting.

"SO WE WILL BE DRAFTING A MEMO ON THIS ISSUE!"

Across the table the manager starts amping up his megaphone.

"THAT'S GREAT. I'LL COMMENT ON IT BY THURSDAY!"

Boys, why the need to speak so loudly? One more meeting with these two and I'll go deaf.

I quietly wonder if making more noise means that you're making more sense.

Sometimes I try to break in on these meetings, but my voice just doesn't cut it. I wait until one side goes silent. Then I take a breath, and when I say, "Ah..." the blowhorn on the other side starts yammering again. My role in the meeting continues to be that of a politely smiling mute.

At the next meeting I will wheel in a cardboard cut-out of myself. Hand in the air, trying to get attention, mouth slightly open, lips forming 'Ah'. The 'Ah' for "Ah-xcuse me..." "Ah actually think that..." or "Ah-nother option we might have..."

The unfinished Ah.

Ahlthough Ah don't think it would be noticed.

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