The Somali pirates.
Fresh from extracting $200m from the Saudis for that massive oil tanker, the pirates are said to have considered hijacking Citigroup. Plans were being drafted, when one wise gang member pointed out a fundamental flaw in their thinking - who the Hell would pay for the company's release ? The US government, he said, would be glad to be shot of it.
'OK', one gang member countered, 'Why don't we at least open an account and stick our booty there ?'. 'Are you crazy ?', responded the gang leader. 'That's far too risky. I'd rather keep the cash under my mattress. It'll be safer there'.
In the end, the group decided to use the tanker money to buy Citi (not that difficult considering where the share price has been), apply for further funds from the TARP, and then bugger off back to Somalia with it. That's apparently far more profitable than hijacking for a living.
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