Please do not read any further if you are easily offended. This joke is what it says on the tin.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag.
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do accountants use for birth control?
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
What's the difference between a porcupine and a police car?
A porcupine has the pr.cks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
'Are you sure it's mine ?'.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F... word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell 'BINGO'!