Here are a few tips to follow to ensure that you have a great Xmas office party.
1. Insist that all staff attend - no matter what their religious persuasion. That usually goes down well.
2. Make sure that Santa gives out really offensive gifts - nothing like embarrassing the staff.
3. Order the office junior to hang the decorations using a swivel chair. He or she might even break a bone while the rest look on in fits of laughter.
4. Hanging tinsel over computers or other sources of heat can be fun. Decorating the emergency exit signs goes one better.
5. Have plenty of party balloons knocking about. As millions of people are allergic to latex, chances are that some of the staff will suffer.
6. Encourage staff to dance on desks (especially desks located near windows high up above street level).
7. Leave the photocopier plugged in.
8. Tell your managers to give some of their staff their annual performance reviews during the festivities. This goes down a treat, especially if the manager has had a few.
9. When the party is over, simply turn off the lights and tell the staff to b.gger off. They're big enough to get home on their own. And the fact that they have had a few drinks won't hurt.
10. And sack anyone who comes in late the next day. It's no use having someone on the payroll who can't hold their drink.
Season's Greetings from CityNews.