It is fair to say these players did not exactly set the world alight when they were on Tyneside.
Things look a lot rosier at Newcastle United’s St James’ Park these days, with the club almost certain to find themselves promoted out of the Championship and back in the Premier League.
Down the years, as with any club, Newcastle have made some, shall we say, questionable signings. Some are remembered for being bad, but these 11 are barely remembered at all such was their lack of impact.
So, without further ado…
Tony Caig
Despite the club already having Shay Given and Steven Harper on their books, goalkeeper Caig was signed in 2003 from Hibernian, In three years, the stopper did not make a single league appearance for the Magpies, before reviving his career in the MLS with Vancouver Whitecaps.
Lamine Diatta
A powerful defender, Diatta was signed in 2008 as the club tried to combat relegation. It didn’t work, though that wasn’t really Diatta’s fault, as he racked up a grand total of nine minutes of Premier League football spread across two games. He was released by Newcastle at the end of the season, and subsequently went to Hamilton Academical.
Oguchi Onyewu
Onyewu arrived on loan from Standard Liege in 2007, only featuring seven times for Newcastle. Largely forming a centre back pairing with Titus Bramble, maybe it is for the best for all parties concerned it was only the seven times he played.
Zurab Khizanishvili
The defender arrived on loan in 2009 from Blackburn Rovers, at a time where Newcastle were trying to get themselves out of the Championship. Much like Onyewu, he only made seven appearances for the club, before heading back to Ewood Park.
Patrick van Aanholt
Another defender who made just seven appearances for Newcastle, van Aanholt was loaned to the club by Chelsea in 2009 as cover for left back Luis Enrique. He soon went back to Stamford Bridge and was eventually sold to Newcastle’s biggest rivals, Sunderland.
Steve Guppy
In 1994, Kevin Keegan signed Guppy from Wycombe Wanderers, with the winger performing brilliantly with Martin O’Neill’s then side. However, he played just once for Newcastle – a League Cup tie no less – before being sold to Port Vale at a profit just four months after arriving.
Christian Bassedas
Bassedas arrived at St James’ Park in 2000 from Velez Sarsfield having represented Argentina 22 times, however it became apparent fairly quickly that his best days were behind him. After 24 appearances in three years, with a loan spell at Tenerife in-between, Bassesdas retired in 2003.
Ignacio Gonzalez
The player who caused Kevin Keegan to resign in 2008, as he was signed on Dennis Wise’s recommendation having seen Gonzalez on YouTube. After just two appearances, Gonzalez picked up a serious achilles injury, before returning to parent club Valencia.
Romain Amalfitano
Amalfitano signed for Newcastle in 2012, yet it is fair to say he did not quite achieve the same heights as his brother Morgan did on English shores following his exploits with West Brom and West Ham. Romain made just four appearances for Newcastle, all of which came in the Europa League, before departing for French side Dijon on a permanent basis in 2016.
Shefki Kuqi
The much loved ‘Flying Finn’ signed for Newcastle on a free transfer in 2011, as the club sought to deal with Andy Carroll’s departure to Liverpool. Kuqi made six appearances for Newcastle, all from the subs bench, and failed to score in his time on Tyneside before being released a few months later.
Xisco
Out of all the players on this list, it is Xisco that Newcastle fans would want to forget most. Signed in 2008, again by Dennis Wise’s recommendation, life started brilliantly for Xisco as he scored on his Premier League debut. It was a false dawn however, as he only made eight more appearances in five years, before signing for Cordoba in 2013.
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