Fed up with playacting and players faking injuries? Our writer Michael Dawson is. Read his article longing for the return of football’s tough guys…
With the 84th Academy Awards around the corner, it seems as if everyone is unleashing their inner thespian these days.
Last week alone witnessed a fantastic performance by Sunderland’s David Meyler, a fine protagonist who was decisive in the sending off of Robert Huth and arguably proved that his talents lie more so in amateur dramatics than on a football pitch.
After many years of furore, therefore, it’s apparent that diving is here to stay. It’s now accepted, morally tolerated and, in some cases, embraced. A rampant infestation that was originally promoted abroad, such histrionics are certain to eradicate any form of ‘Englishness’ left in the Premier League.
Undoubtedly the most skilled performers, however, are the golden boys from Barcelona, whose apparent infallibility allows them to manipulate governing bodies and referees at will.
Additionally bolstered by a global following of delusional glory hunters who could put a cockney Man United fan to shame, Blaugrana have demonstrated a talent only seen in the highest echelons of the acting world.
The pinnacle of such skill was seen in early 2011, when Dani Alves’ masterful ability to roll, pirouette and feign a career-shattering injury was adroitly demonstrated to the globe.
Watched by millions upon millions of viewers, the actions of Barcelona were roundly criticised, only to then be dismissed by the legions of die-hard supporters who have now been fans for the past 18 months.
Further exacerbated by people who have never kicked a ball in their lives and the hordes of Messi-impersonating, slightly overweight 5- a-siders out there, they have inadvertently ushered in a new era of moral and physical weakness to the once beautiful game.
Everyone knows their type, the kind of player who does three step overs and thinks he’s big time, the one who was always on the fringe of being marginally good at school but never quite got there due to his unshakable love-affair with pork pies. We’ve all seen it.
So, the real question is: when did footballers stop acting like men?
Who decided that finesse and skill are juxtaposed against crunching challenges and a bit of passion? No one’s asking for a blood sport, but long gone are the glory days of Roy Keane, Marco Tardelli and Andoni Goikoetxea.
Granted, they were all complete psychopaths (the latter of whom framed the boot with which he snapped Maradona’s ankle ligaments), but at least they battled.
Footballers from all over the world used to be hard, with fans revelling in a player’s ability to actually put in a challenge or shake off
an injury.
If Chris Ashton can take a punch from the proverbial brick outhouse that is Manu Tuilagi, why can’t footballers deal with a little bit of aggression now and then?
image: © Oh Barcelona
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