There is a wonderful old sketch in The Goon Show when Throat, Neddie Seagoon and Justin Eidelburger, played by Spike Milligan and his partners in anarchy, Harry Secombe and Peter Sellers, intend to steal Napoleon’s piano and arrange to meet outside the Louvre on the second stroke of midnight. Except Seagoon arrives on the third stroke. “You’re late,” Eidelburger says. And the explanation is a thing of beauty. “Sorry,” Seagoon says, “my legs were slow.”
Close your eyes, Arsène. Now … Open them. Happy 20th anniversary! Yes, that’s right. It’s exactly what you’ve always wanted. For one perfect half at the Emirates Arsenal produced something sublime, 45 minutes that contained pretty much the full set of Wenger-isms entwined in a relentless performance of sinuous passing football.
If Mark Noble is right, then the latest demonstration of Dimitri Payet’s prowess with a dead ball will be a defining moment for West Ham after a fractious start to the new campaign that has so far featured a premature exit from the Europa League and fan trouble in the stands of their new stadium.
The defender left Slaven Bilic's side to join Crystal Palace this summer.
Didier Drogba scored regularly for Chelsea past Arsenal.
The youngster is nearing a return at Anfield after a long injury lay-off.
The former defender was talking after Arsenal beat Chelsea 3-0.
Arsenal thumped their London rivals on Saturday evening.
Celtic thrashed Kilmarnock 6-1 on Saturday afternoon.
Former Millwall player Tony Cascarino has delivered his verdict on West Ham United's terrible start to the season and one player in particular.
The FA chief executive and former biscuit baron Martin Glenn was guilty of over-sweetening his patter when he described Sam Allardyce as the “ideal candidate” at Friday’s presentation of the new England manager.
Sunderland might well be furious with the Football Association for poaching Sam Allardyce, fearful of upheaval close to a Premier League season and dreading another round of instability with a seventh manager in five years.
The academy product could be on his way out of White Hart Lane.