Don't at any point display your exotic (or erotic) dancing skills.
Swearing in conference calls seems to be up in 2016. Here are some of the most profane moments.
The striker has three goals in two games for Sunderland this season.
Burnley shut Manchester United out but were hammered away at West Brom.
Southampton currently sit comfortably in 10th position in the Premier League table.
Monaco welcome Joao Moutinho back for Champions League tie.
The forward says Newcastle United's forward options are a good problem.
The dominant French force have shown signs of vulnerability this season but Emery is confident they can put Arsenal away.
Former West Ham United midfielder and fan Lee Bowyer has been discussing in detail his old club's 3-2 defeat to Tottenham Hotspur.
Antonio Conte suggested that his Chelsea side are in perfect shape for a busy mid‑winter after Diego Costa’s goal lifted them to the top of the Premier League on Sunday.
José Mourinho believes Paul Pogba is finding his best form for Manchester United after the midfielder particularly impressed in their draw with Arsenal.
Forget Brexit. Now Chelsea and Liverpool are first and second in the Premier League we should start discussing Chexit and Lexit. This weekend I asked an executive from a leading Premier League club whether Chelsea and Liverpool had an advantage by not being in Europe this season. Of course they have, he replied. The only question is, how much?