As surely the last England manager to retain a schoolboy memory of the traumatic football lesson inflicted by Ferenc Puskas's Hungary at Wembley almost 60 years ago, Roy Hodgson will be acutely aware that the evolution of the national side has taken place at a glacial pace.
The first time I visited Scandinavia (Stockholm, as it happens) I was struck by three things. First, how tall, blonde and attractive the people were. Second, how they liked to sunbathe at every opportunity, regardless of location (ring roads, office car parks, you name it). And third, how incredibly drunk they liked to get on Wednesdays.
People with purple in their bedrooms have sex a total of 3.49 times a week. It doesn't have to be walls, or even your bedding. A throw pillow will work.
A round-up of stories relating to Chelsea over the past 24 hours.
A round-up of stories relating to Manchester United over the past 24 hours.
All the news and gossip from Tottenham Hotspur in the past 24 hours.
All the news and gossip relating to Liverpool FC in the past 24 hours.
All the news and gossip relating to Arsenal FC in the past 24 hours.
...tennis players, cricketers, swimmers, martial artists. Which Everton, Lyon, Tottenham, QPR, Arsenal, Paris Saint Germain and Man City players could have given another sport a go in similar vein to Andrew Flintoff who has announced his decision to chase a boxing career.
Back in 2005, Jason Selch ended a meeting with his bosses at Bank of America by pulling down his pants and mooning them.