It would be nice to report that this movie, based on the Hasbro toy soldier line, was amiably daft or engagingly silly.
We're nearly there.
The cessation of hostilities, when it came, was almost poignant – well, for those who remembered the mid-90s feud between Blur and Oasis, which gave the era's two biggest British bands license to insult each other every week in the press.
If you were a child in the 60s, but born just too late to enjoy that decade’s major pop-culture phenomena when they were fresh, chances are that your biggest thrills were cheap and cheerful derivatives – the Monkees instead of the Beatles, and instead of Bond, American TV show The Man From UNCLE.
Pink Floyd have “run their course”, according to the band’s longtime member Dave Gilmour.
Dr Dre’s first solo studio album in 16 years, Compton, has scored the rapper his first-ever UK chart-topper.