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L.p Dancing, Bear & Other Gossip

Much merriment on learning that securities trader Stephen Chang is suing an exotic dancer who, in the middle of giving him some serious lap dancing attention, allegedly swung round and accidently poked him in the eye with the heel of her shoe!

Top Firm Said Laying Off 2,000 More

Unhappy Citi

The International Herald Tribune reports that Citi has already started to lay off another 2,000 more investment bankers - just weeks after announcing 4,200 redundancies, most of which will come from the same unit.

Credit Suisse Profit Warning, Merrill Shares Slide

The Wall Street Journal reports that Credit Suisse has said that it will probably post its first quarterly loss in 5 years this quarter, after traders were found to have mispriced some $2.65bn of assets. The impact of the mispricing will be spread across the current and last trading period.

Bear Stearns - Cayne To The Rescue ?

Well, he's certainly not playing bridge now. There's nothing likely to concentrate the mind more than seeing the value of your stake in the business you ran for years fall from $1bn to just $31m in a year or so. Bear Stearns Chairman Jim Cayne is said to be back on the prowl - and he ain't thought to be a happy camper.

'Stare Down' At Bear Stearns

As some folks at JPMorgan strut around Bear Stearns' trading floors in London and New York as if they already own the place, all of a sudden there's some doubt about whether Jamie Dimon's crew will actually end up taking over its smaller rival.

Goldman Down - But Not Out

Goldman Logo

The markets waited with bated breath for Goldman's fiscal first-quarter earnings Tuesday. With rumours that the firm was likely to write down up to $3bn in assets, fears were growing that a bad set of figures from the Wall Street firm would spook the markets even more, and push us headlong into a full-blown market crash.

Some Market News & Gossip

Reuters reports that JPMorgan has come out and said that it expects UBS to have to write down an additional $17.9bn of assets this year, taking the total at the Swiss bank to around $40bn. JPMorgan is also forecasting that there will be further net of tax asset writedowns this year over at Credit Agricole ($1.1bn), Credit Suisse ($7.3bn), Deutsche Bank ($2.9bn) and SocGen ($1.5bn)