Here's another 11 classics.
'I was responsible for dissatisfied customers'
'Objective: Seeking party-time position with room for advancement'
'My role involved coaching and mentioning'.
'Please don’t misconstrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping. I have never quit a job'.
'I can type without looking at thekeyboard'.
'Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave'.
'Consistently tanked as top sales producer for new accounts'.
'I do have convictions (drug offences)'.
Reason for leaving: 'I didn’t give the company my full effort and received no chance of career advancement in return'.
Cover letter: 'I would like to assure you that I am a hardly working person'.
'Dear Sir or Madman'