Here's a list of 9 of unpleasant things that happen to bankers at work.
1. Tripping over your boss's last bonus.
2. Electric shock - this usually happens when your firm is on one of its cost-cutting drives, and decides to booby-trap the photocopier to ensure that staff only use it when absolutely necessary.
3. Walking into a glass door - usually occurs when you are thinking about what kind of ungodly hour you are likely to get out of the office on that particular evening.
4. Sharp pains in the back. Frequently occurs when you are vying for promotion with an unscrupulous work colleague, who constantly bad-mouths you around the office.
5. Burns from tea / coffee from the vending machine. An injury likely to be sustained by a trader returning to his desk, and noticing that a position has moved violently against him during the brief time he was away.
6. Repetitive strain injury - mainly sustained in the neck area by brown-nosed subordinates sucking up to their bosses, and responding to every question with an affirmative nod.
7. Red flushes - often happens after a night out with the office 'hottie', when your boasts about your male manhood prove a majorly disappointing over-exaggeration.
8. Injuries sustained from bricks or bottles thrown by angry strangers. Often a problem for Goldman employees who decide to take their main summer holiday in Greece.
9. Bruised egos. Usually happens each year-end when bonus numbers are announced.