The perfect hire needs to have the following qualities / attributes:
But not too much ambition - I quite like my job.
I want someone who will do exactly what they are told - without question or complaint.
Intelligent, but not too intelligent to recognise that I'm pulling the strings.
Someone around here needs to give us a bit of positive energy - God, it's so gloomy!
Modest enough to understand that, despite all the hard work, they don't deserve a bonus.
Yes, be prepared to work (very) long hours.
A team player
Be a part of the team and and don't try to take any of the (my) glory.
Give credit where it is due
Recognise the fact that all our successes as a unit are down to me.
I do not want it known that I am having a personal relationship with a (married) female member of the staff.
Essentially, the perfect hire is there to make me look really good!