Probably the best automated email response ever

Email Simon Stratford

'Please kindly note that I will not be able to reply to your e-mail promptly. In fact, I might not have the time to reply to it at all.

Since most of the rest of my colleagues have been laid-off, I have found the volume of work overwhelming. As all pleas to my bosses to hire a temp to help me out have fallen on deaf ears, and the firm stopped paying me overtime several months ago, I have all but given up. Unfortunately, I can do no more than time permits during a normal working day, and gave up worrying about the work backlog some time ago. As my boss doesn't seem to care, why should I ?

If you are a client, I suggest that you transfer your business to a firm which cares enough about your custom to provide enough support staff to execute your requirements.

If you are a work colleague, then you are probably in the same boat as me. Doubtless, you, too, are on the look-out for a new job and have begged to be made redundant. I hope that you have more success in your quest than I have had.

And finally, if you are one of the many people who claim to be my boss, then I sincerely hope that you get found out for the pitiful inadequate you surely are. Unless you have something positive to discuss with me, or can provide me with the help you know that I urgently need, I suggest that you off back under that rock you just crawled out from, and stick to what you are good at - brown-nosing your own boss, who is about as good at his job as you are at yours!'.

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