10 pearls of wisdom from a smug trader

Trading Places

Covering management, compliance, risk, interns, headhunters, business school and human resources.

1. 'Are you observing your limits ?', asks the creep from Compliance.

'I've got no limits', I reply, 'That's why they f.cking hired me'.

2. A headhunter calls:

'Are you interested in Morgan Stanley ?'

'I don't know her', I reply, 'Is she expensive ?'.

3. 'I never went to business school - I was always far too successful for that'.

4. 'HR professionals are like children; they should be seen but never heard'.

5. 'There's nothing 'in' about an intern'.

6. 'The toilets are blocked again. Must be all that management bullshit'.

7. 'Would you sleep with somebody in HR ?', asks a colleague.

'But there is no somebody in HR', I reply.

8. 'Those who can, trade. Those who can't, work in risk'.

9. 'I go to work for money. If you want loyalty, take on an intern'.

10. Our desk head told the compliance chump to 'use his imagination'. I'm afraid he rather missed the point - the guy works in compliance because he has no imagination.

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