Anyone tuning in to Manchester United’s Champions League qualification playoff with Club Brugge would have been disappointed for any number of reasons.
Still, with Memphis Depay impressing for the hosts at least, United fans and neutrals alike could at least enjoy a memorable performance from one of the Premier League’s brightest young stars.
The only problem was that they kind of couldn’t because Owen was coming out with gems like this:
He wasn’t done there either…
Michael Owen on Chicharito. 'If I could have ANYONE in world football to come off the bench, it would be him.' pic.twitter.com/vnM5hxwB2P— 138.com (@138dotcom) August 18, 2015
Stating the obvious and making the occasional outlandish claim is par for the course with Owen though as these 11 memorable quotes show.
1. "It's a good run, but it's a poor run, if you know what I mean?"
We genuinely have no idea what he means here.
2. "What a feeling it is to be a manager and bring someone on."
Oh, what a feeling, when you’re dancing on the ceiling…
3. "That's simple as... Simple."
Michael Owen doing his best impression of those meerkats off the telly.
4. "You have to believe your own eyes, don't you?"
He doesn’t sound fully convinced that he should be believing his eyes here.
5. "City will come out with a fresh set of impetus."
Well, they’ve definitely grown a set of impetus this season.
6. "To stay in the game you have to stay in the game."
And you lose the game when you think about the game. Damn, we just thought about the game.
7. "He's elbowed him in the head, but there's nothing in it for me."
Was he so bored by his own voice that he forgot the thing he started saying here about, you know, elbowing someone in the head?
8. "You need people who score goals. That’s how you win games."
It’s comments like this that mean Owen will always be welcome alongside Alan Shearer on the Match of the Day sofa.
9. "That would’ve been a goal had it gone inside the post."
And that shot before would have been a goal if it hadn’t gone wide. This should be 2-0!
10. "He’s moving an arm and leg, he should be ok."
Michael Owen M.D. reporting for duty.
11. "I love these players with two feet."
Given that almost every goal scored by Owen was exactly the same, we can kind of understand why he is awestruck by this.
He did train with Neil Ruddock after all…