The first (2005) episode of last decade’s F4 diptych at least showed some flippant pop-culture fizz. But this unnecessary reboot is a solemn affair, visually murky and misjudged. After a laborious build-up about plucky young things building a teleportation machine, the revelation of the quartet’s transformations feels incongruously macabre, with the faintest overtones of David Cronenberg. The villainous Dr Doom is even feebler than his earlier incarnation; he starts as a sullen Byronic hipster (Toby Kebbell) and becomes just another radioactive malcontent shooting bolts of green fire. For anyone who remembers the strip as drawn by Jack Kirby in its wildly inventive 60s prime, this is beyond depressing.
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