Top Five: Footballer haircuts to make even Dennis Wise blush

Pulling Hair

After a weekend in which the ex-Chelsea star’s dodgy barnet got nearly as much attention as the Blues FA Cup exit, we found five classics of the genre.

Shocked, appalled and downright distraught – those are just some of the words that can be used to describe the reactions of Chelsea fans up and down the country this weekend following one of the most alarming displays in the history of the club.

We refer, of course, to former captain and one-time club legend Dennis Wise and the haircut that launched a thousand tweets:

Employed as a pundit during a busy weekend of FA Cup action, it was difficult to focus on the words coming out of the 48-year-old’s mouth.

Oh, and Chelsea were also dumped out of the competition by a League One team but that’s really besides the point – the only "disgrace" on show last Saturday was Wise’s hair.

Fortunately the Most Popular Man in Newcastle is not alone in sporting a rather dodgy barnet – here are five classics from the world of football.

Kyle Beckerman – Real Salt Lake

A US international that excelled at the World Cup in Brazil, defender Beckerman was deployed by Jurgen Klinsmann to distract opposition players. With a haircut that made him look like a ginger-version of the alien from the Predator films, it worked with the USMNT reaching the last-16.

Karim Benzema – Real Madrid

Do you ever have that problem where you go to the barbers but can’t decide between two different haircuts? Karim Benzema did two years ago, so he came up with his own solution – half and half. In his eyes, the new do allowed him to enjoy both looks. To the rest of us, he looked like an idiot.

Gervinho – Roma

No haircut countdown would be complete without a mention of the Arsenal legend and possibly the worst comb-over since Donald Trump debuted his now-iconic candy-floss-like quiff. Gervinho clearly does not want to accept his is going bald, so has taken to strapping his hair across his head. Nice.

Cesc Fabregas – Arsenal

Fabregas’s receding hairline at Chelsea is evidence that the Spaniard is clearly paying for his previous sins, having been guilty of sporting some of the dodgiest barnets in Premier League history during his younger years. Few compare to the majesty of this blonde-tinged mullet though. Words fail me.

Giovanni Simeone – River Plate

Living in the shadow of a famous father can be tough. For every Frank Lampard there are 100 Jordi Cruyff’s so in a bid to stand out at River Plate Giovanni Simeone – son of Atletico Madrid’s Diego – opted to shave most of his hair off except for a little pony tail and some side curtains.

Coming across like a psychiatric hospital patient that used a trip to the hairdressers to make his escape mid-cut, the look failed to catch on. We imagine Diego was far from amused too.

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