We know the pain, the quarter-life crisis is real and it has a whole generation crying in their pjs while they binge watch Netflix. We’ve been giving it some thought and we think we’ve found some of the culprits that have aided in this epidemic.
Following the release of the film SAY WHEN, starring Keira Knightley as Megan, a 28 year-old girl who runs away from grown up life for a while after her boyfriend proposes to her. We thought it might be fun to share with you a list of reasons that may have caused your QLC .....
1. First off, your use of acronyms is helping no one (see above).
Whether using them ironically, to desperately prove you are young and ‘hip’, or because you are just that lazy, the acronyms are not helping you out of this slump. FTLOG stop.
2. You are living with your parents... again.
Nothing like feeling 16 again as your mum asks if you are going to do your laundry or let it mould on the bathroom floor. You’re bound to question if you’re actually an adult if you’re reliving your childhood at 26.
3. Worse, you have roommates (yes plural).
And we thought living with our parents was bad. Roommates put you through a special kind of hell. A special kind of hell that gives you traumatic flashbacks to your days at Uni as you contemplate the best way to hide a body in your tiny flat.
4. The housing market is shit.
When in doubt blame society and factors that are out of your control! You’re parents, grandparents and great aunt all like to remind you (read: harass you) that at your age they already owned a house and had a family. Best keep some housing market figures handy for all future family events to spare yourself some nagging.
5. You chose a potentially worthless subject to study.
Yeah, you’re super artsy concentration seemed like the path to that picturesque bohemian lifestyle; now it’s left you being laughed out of interviews. The knowledge that you’ll be an intern (and paid if you’re lucky) for years to come is not good for your well-being. Wallowing on this fact will only leave you bitter and potentially drafting up a few wordy emails to all your old advisors.
6. You are swimming in an ocean of debt.
Speaking of that useless degree, not only have you not got much to show for it, you’re paying out of your ears for it as well! Nothing as embarrassing as going into overdraft for cheap boxed wine.
7. You can’t land a real job.
On top of the debt from the degree you now regret, you can’t land a job. Can you list ‘Netflix guru’ on a CV? How about ‘knows how to make tea but not much else’?
8. You hate your ‘real’ job.
Okay maybe you landed the job your degree prepared you for, but now you’re there and you hate it. Suddenly it’s become a personal torture box and the thought of working there for the REST OF YOUR LIFE has left your knees wobbling. You begin to question every aspect of all of your decisions wondering who the hell you are and what happened to the person who enjoyed this work. Your evil boss may be out to get you, and that intern is definitely gunning for your position so best to part ways sooner than later.
9. You check Facebook more times than you should.
You need Jesus, or one of those apps that limits your time on the site, the latter requires less effort so let’s go for that. But really, staring at all those baby pics and engagement photos as you simultaneously swipe through endless Tinder duds is taking a toll on your mental health.
10. Speaking of, you have Tinder.
You’ve resigned to the fact that it’s make or break with all further boyfriends. They are either your future husband or they aren’t. Tricking yourself into thinking some rando on Tinder is actually your other half and not someone who has a 70% chance of sending you an unwanted dick pic is fuelling the delusion that you don’t need to grow up. It doesn’t end well, trust us.
11. All your friends are getting married &/or having babies.
See #’s 9 and 10. The word ‘marriage’ makes you barf a little bit and babies still look like little scary troll people. This can’t be what you’re supposed to be doing right? Right??! Nevertheless, 27 Dresses is becoming your life.
12. You constantly compare yourself to friends (Facebook and real world).
Yes, she has this year’s designer duds and you’re still pinching the knock-offs at Primark. So and so is going on a cross Europe expedition while your haven’t left your couch in 36 hours. Quit being a voyeur, it’ll only fan the crazy fire.
13. You’re a habitual lifestyle changer.
One day you’re inhaling a large pizza by yourself and the next you’re swearing you’ll begin living off of kale and chia seeds. No, taking the long route to your bus stop once does not count as a week’s workout. Unrealistic expectations feed disappointment.
14. You envy your cat.
Waking up everyday cursing your cat because you think they have a better life than you is a steep slide into crazy town. (That being said Grumpy Cat is forever our spirit animal and you can’t take that away from us).
15. You use wine as a fill in friend.
After realising your promises of being BFF’s x618284 with all those friends from uni are as mythical as those so called dream jobs, you use wine as a filler. While it is the cure all medicine and definitely a girl’s best friend (sorry diamonds, see #6), it shouldn’t be your only friend. It can however, be used to MAKE friends. Girls night? How about grabbing some drinks and seeing a movie with a totally relatable plot?
SAY WHEN in cinemas now