"Go Home F1, You're Drunk"

A tongue-in-cheek look at some strange and less-reported stories from the world of F1 and motorsport that have popped up in the past few weeks.

We start with some former F1 driver marital news. The German media reports that Ralf Schumacher is “locked in a bitter dispute with his wife Cora, as the couple head towards divorce.” But given that Ralf was able to an extract a reported £20m per season from Toyota, we're not too worried about his post-split finances.

Meanwhile, perhaps in an attempt to vent his frustration at a disappointing Singapore Grand Prix, Valtteri Bottas has been shooting stuff in his native Finland. Maybe he’s imagining that clay pigeon is the bloke who decided he’d not get a new set of tyres last Sunday.

F1 drivers grow up quickly these days, don't they? First teenager Max Verstappen is being compared with Ayrton Senna, now 20-year-old Daniil Kvyat (14 grand prix starts, 8 points) has had a stand named after him at the Sochi Autodrom, which hosts the inaugural Russian Grand Prix next month.

What will they do if he goes on to win a world title, re-model the circuit into the outline of his face?

READ MOREKvyat honoured with Sochi grandstand

Speaking of the Verstappens, you'd be forgiven for thinking their family is a social experiment in the creation of racing drivers. Next off the conveyor-belt is his sister Victoria (below), who's climbing the ladder through karting. This week she's been testing in Genk while her brother gets to grips with a Formula Renault 3.5 car in Austria.

Now on to the Daily Mail, where men are men and women are walking mannequins waiting to be assessed. A week rarely passes in which an F1 wife or girlfriend isn’t held up to scrutiny for what they wear, with Jenson Button’s fiancé Jessica Michibata the latest to come in for the fashion-focus treatment while out shopping in London.

READ MORE: Pit shop!

As for Lewis Hamilton’s better half Nicole Scherzinger, she took the dog for a walk, which obviously required a lengthy article complete with half a dozen pictures...

READ MORENicole Scherzinger dons workout gear as she steps out with Roscoe

And yes, we appreciate the irony of writing about the Mail writing these stories.