If You Love Me, Set Me Free

Paris Love Locks

The venerable bridges of Paris are heartbroken, crying and pleading, “Why won’t you respect me?”

“What did I ever do to deserve this treatment?”

“You don’t love me, you never did.”

“I feel betrayed.”

“I thought we had a true love story!”

Sound familiar? Well, Paris indeed has a heart, and these days she’s feeling hurt by the use of your Love Locks.

I understand the rush of adrenaline while getting caught up in your moment on the bridge with your sweetie pie, choosing your piece of paramour real estate, giggling as you tether your symbol of love to the ancient arch, as the Seine flows beneath you. But, Love Locks suffocate and obstruct the beauty of the Pont des Arts, Passerelle Léopold-Sédar-Senghor and Pont de l'Archevêché bridges, among other landmarks, betraying the trust of passage; perhaps a symbol of love’s demise? Scandal!

In 2010, an École des Beaux-Arts student had the right idea in absconding with the questionably illegal locks at the Pont des Arts, melting them down into sculpture. Here’s an idea. Design one grand sculpture for exhibition — a moveable love feast, if you will; boiling the bondage down in order to erect one giant Love Lock, and we’ll all live happily ever after, together in hitched harmony.

Lovers and Monogamists, the keys to your treasured bond lie at the bottom of the Seine, forever memorialized. Release your public displays of affection so others who don’t wish to view them can enjoy the elegant legacy of Paris’ bridges that currently choke on your demonstrations of love. You’re defacing property, and more importantly, disrespecting the spirit of Paris.

The City of Light and Love is romantic enough as she is, and surely there are environmentally friendly ways of showing amour, a meaningful passionate kiss on the bridge, perhaps, that you’ll lock away in your memory forever, n’est-ce pas?