Goldman 'insider' set to spill the beans

Baked Beans

But this one is a bit different.

Insiders at Goldman Sachs have long suspected that they know the identity of the person (or persons) behind the entertaining and hugely successful @GSElevator Twitter profile, with its 602,000 followers.

The firm now faces the prospect of the publication of a GSElevator (doubtless mickey-taking) book in October. According to the Financial Times, the book is tentatively entitled Straight to Hell: True Tales of Deviance and Excess in the World of Investment Banking, and is intended to be 'the definitive exposure of investment banking culture . . . shedding new light on a world that is far more abhorrent, and yet, way more entertaining than people can imagine'.

According to the newspaper, the book will be published under the pseudonym 'J.T. Stone', and will chart the career of @GSElevator, from his first steps as a junior analyst through to his work in the world of fixed income in New York, London and Hong Kong.

Goldman has, of course, been down this road before with Greg Smith, but found it fairly easy to refute Smith's version of events, successfully turning him into a disgruntled employee who failed to get promotion. With an anonymous individual taking probably a more light-hearted approach, however, Goldman might simply have to take this book on the chin.

Here are a few of @GSElevator's finest moments:

1. 'Just be yourself' is good advice to probably 5% of people.

2. People can be drug-tested to keep their jobs, but not to receive government benefits? Explain that shit to me. Please.

3. I start every cell conversation with 'my phone's about to die' so they don't waste my time.

4. A guy came up to me at the gym and asked me what event I was training so hard for. Life, motherfucker.

5. Speaking about a firm janitor: 1. 'Do u think he tells the chicks he works at Goldman Sachs ? 2. Of course - he doesn't just clean up at work'

6. If someone asks you a question and you don't know the answer, belittle them. It's better to be an asshole than stupid.

7. If there's a hot chick behind me at the ATM, I'll always leave my receipt in the machine so she can see the balance.

8. Guns kill people like spoons make people fat.

9. My 1st wife was vehemently pro-life until my girlfriend got pregnant.

10. Some chick asked me what I would do with 10 million bucks. I told her I'd wonder where the rest of my money went.

11. Every guy I know has paid for sex. One way or the other.

12. I say 'keep the change' purely for my own convenience

13. If you brag about starting at the bottom and making it to the top, you are probably still closer to the bottom.

GS Elevator Gossip

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