Police staff: Hello you're through to the police, how can I help?
Man: Yea, can I speak to Sir Alex Ferguson, please?
Police staff: Er, not on the 99-.
Man, interrupting: PLEASE.
Police staff: -9 line I'm afraid, no.
Man, ignoring her: Sir Alex the result is all wrong. He had extra time and it was a total and utter load of rubbish.
Police staff: Sir you're actually on the 999 line is there actually a crime you need to report this evening?
Man: Yea, crime, I'll report a crime.
Police staff: And what crime is that?
Man: The crime is that Manchester United… Manchester United were absolutely knackered.
Police staff: Can I take your name please?
Police staff: And what's you're home address?
Police staff: I'm going to clear the line now.
Man: Well can you call me back then? You must -
Police staff: We're not -
Man, interrupting: Why not?
Police staff: Because this is not a police matter.
Man: Not a police matter? Are you a police-woman?
Police staff: I'm not a police woman I'm a member of the police staff, this is not a 999 matter.
Man: 999 matter. Oh, I see, right. Okay then.
image: © Bengt Nyman