The most ridiculous transfer rumour of the season so far involves Tottenham and Chelsea.
Welcome back to the Transfer Bin: Where the most unlikely rumours of the week are named and shamed.
Here's what their transfer 'expert' Manolete has to say:
"Lamela can cause the arrival of Mata at Tottenham: The future of Lamela Tottenham can decide the future of Mata in the Premier League. It ensures that if at the end Lamela is transferred, Tottenham would be willing to put all eggs in one basket to acquire the services of the Spanish international. Mata knows he does not fit into the plans of Mourinho and want to find new team to allow him to play and be with La Roja in the World Cup in Brazil. Offers are not lacking but his desire is to remain in England."
There are several reasons why this is not going to be happening, beginning with the trigger for any deal - Erik Lamela.
Lamela has been linked with a return to Italy after a tough start at Spurs, with Inter Milan strongly linked with a loan bid.
Newly installed manager Tim Sherwood has been adamant that the Argentine will be staying at White Hart Lane this January.
He said last week as reported by The Guardian: "He won't be leaving on loan in this transfer window. He has a big future here, absolutely. We know what a talented player Erik is. We also understand that players need time to settle. He needs time to acclimatise to this country."
No mention even of a permanent deal being a consideration, with which funds would be raised to sign Mata, killing the notion of the Chelsea man coming in from the off, and the last thing chairman Daniel Levy would want to do is undermine his new manager, but we'll indulge AS for a moment.
Jose Mourinho is not know for his generosity, and he is not in the business of giving hand-outs. In the midst of a title challenge, the last thing he would want to do is sell off a top class player to a side competing for a Champions League place.
Chelsea remain an injury crisis and poor run of form from slipping from title chasers to fourth place battlers at this point, and so will not want to strengthen a team who have the potential to usurp them if Mata is added to their ranks.
Mourinho was so worried about Tottenham ahead of the season that he took great pleasure in signing Willian from under their noses. There's just not a chance the laughing manager seen after that deal was pulled off would sanction a deal to sell Mata to Spurs.
Rubbish rating: Bin it! Absolute rubbish!
image: © Ben Sutherland