Welcome back to a new feature on HITC Sport, 'The Transfer Bin'.
The idea is to wade into the day's worst transfer rumours peddled by the papers, and well, highlight them for the rubbish that they are.
Step forward, The Daily Star and their Xabi Alonso to Manchester United reports.
This all began a week ago, when they claimed 'Man United set to launch Xabi Alonso bid', citing unspecified sources in Spain.
Alonso's contract expires at the end of the season and there has been much speculation on his future, but the way he has orchestrated Real Madrid's return to form since his return from injury has highlighted just how desperately the Spanish title contenders need him.
Interest in him is natural, even from United - but given his Liverpool connections, where he spent five years, a switch is a non-starter especially given he would be a free agent and entitled to control his own destiny.
Rumours linking Alonso to Chelsea had more credibility due to the Jose Mourinho connection, Alonso was said to be one of the 'Special One's closest allies in Madrid, however respected Spanish newspaper El Confidencial had recently suggested a return to hometown club Real Sociedad was far more likely.
Now just this morning The Star refreshed the Manchester United-Alonso link, claiming they along with Chelsea were 'stepping up' the Alonso chase.
Eight hours later they ran another story, claiming that unofficial reports in Spain stated Alonso was about to agree a new deal with Real Madrid.
It appears they have simply been tying themselves in knots, or have just created something out of nothing to tide them through the international break.
Either way United fans should ignore the rumours, because if Alonso is going anywhere - it won't be to Old Trafford.
Rubbish rating: Complete and utter rubbish! File this one along with 'Iniesta'
image: © Jan S0l0