“I am aware that in recent matches I’ve been calmer. I realised playing well, with more tranquillity, is helping me a lot. I prefer to continue like that and not be the same as before,” explained the Uruguayan after thanking his family for their support.
It has indeed been a turbulent couple of years in England for Luis Suarez who I’m very glad to hear (if not, slightly skeptical) that he is feeling ‘calmer’ now but it got me thinking – ‘calmer’ than what exactly? A tidal wave, a bull in a china shop perhaps? No, no. Here are ten people Luis Suarez is calmer than…
1) David Moyes when he dived in front of him
Yes, I’m sure Luis Suarez is far calmer than the former Everton boss was when the Liverpool striker dived in front of his technical area to celebrate his goal in the Merseyside derby, following the Scots’ comments that Suarez is a ‘diver’. I’m sure he is also much calmer than Moyes was when Everton captain Phil Neville was booked for diving in the same game last October.
2) Patrice Evra when he refused to shake his hand
I also reckon Suarez is much calmer than Manchester United vice-captain Patrice Evra was in February of last year when Suarez refused to shake his hand following his eight-match ban from the FA for misconduct.
3) Patrice Evra when he racially abused him
On the topic of which, I’m pretty sure he’s much calmer than Evra was when Suarez racially abused him live on television in December 2011 when he repeatedly insulted and racially abused the France international no less than 10 times during the course of the game.
4) Tommy Robinson of the EDL
On the subject of people who definitely aren’t racists, I’m sure Suarez is much calmer now than Tommy Robinson who stepped down from his position as leader of the English Defence League this week over his fear of ‘the dangers of far-right extremism’.
5) Branislav Ivanovic when he bit him
Speaking of dangerous extremes, I’m sure Suarez is much calmer than Branislav Ivanovic was last season when the striker bit the Chelsea defender. That’s right, he bit him.
6) The Prime Minister when he saw that
And I’m almost certain that Suarez is calmer than the Prime Minister was when he saw that. He said it was ‘the most appalling example to set to young people in our country.’
Yes, he was outraged because Suarez is a much more appalling example to children than the police who allegedly lied about the circumstances that led to the deaths of 96 Liverpool supporters at Hillsborough in 1989 or the national newspaper that painted them as drunks. Surprisingly, over that, the Prime Minister has been much calmer.
7) Brendan Rodgers when Suarez said he wanted to leave Liverpool
Anyway, back to football, and I’m sure Suarez is far calmer than Brendan Rodgers was when Suarez went public with his feelings of ‘betrayal’ at not being allowed to leave Liverpool this summer.
8) Arsenal when they realised there was no £40 million release clause
Luis Suarez only came out to say that because Arsenal had bid £40,000,001 to buy him which, embarrassingly for the Gunners did not in fact trigger a release clause in his contract as they had been told, leading Liverpool owner John W Henry to question what they were smoking over at the Emirates.
9) Arsene Wenger when he saw pictures of Wilshere smoking
That leads us quite nicely into Arsene Wenger who was definitely not very calm when he learned that the press had pictures of England starlet Jack Wilshere having a crafty fag outside a nightclub in the early hours of the morning last week.
10) Jack Wilshere when he heard Adnan Januzaj could play for England
And, finally I’m sure Suarez is much calmer than Jack Wilshere was this week when he heard that Manchester United’s Belgian-born attacking midfielder Adnan Januzaj might qualify to play for England despite not being born here and his parents being of Albanian and Serbian heritage.
Wilshere enlightened us all with his belief that players should have to be English to play for England. Although he was quite calm when he said that, in fairness – but nowhere near as calm as Luis Suarez is.
image: © jikatu