With his tongue firmly in his cheek, Vincent Ralph takes an alternative look at the meeting that is reported to have taken place.
Reports today claim Manchester United chief executive Ed Woodward has held secret talks with Cesc Fabregas’s agent Darren Dein, during which it was revealed the Barcelona midfielder favoured a move to Old Trafford.
In light of those reports, a reader of ours painted an interesting picture of how that clandestine meeting may have looked:
“I hear that Dein and Woodward wore masks at the secret meeting which was held in a disused mineshaft to prevent eavesdroppers, spoke only in code and were guarded by ninjas,” they wrote.
An interesting and perfectly viable suggestion given the absurdity of the game we love, and yet here are a few alternative (and completely made-up) scenarios:
1) Following Sir Alex Ferguson’s retirement, he moved into his underground lair below Old Trafford, from where he could continue to control the club unseen. While in daily conference calls he demands “One hundred miiiilllion pounds” for incoming transfers, the Glazers simply laugh and pull a few loose coins from their pockets.
While Ferguson’s Mini-Me – or David Moyes as he is more commonly known – led the club on their pre-season tour, Woodward brought Dein into Ferguson’s lair to ensure no one knew of the talks.
When they were completely confident no one knew a thing, they leaked it to the papers; because where is the fun in secrets if you can’t tell anyone?
2) Woodward asked Dein to wear a mask of Thiago Alcantara’s father’s face and meet in a public place.
It was at that point Dein reminded Woodward the Spaniard had already signed for Bayern Munich, and asked why United hadn’t moved for Fabregas before his teammate joined the German champions.
3) With Fabregas seeking game-time at Barcelona, and United knowing they will end up with Marouane Fellaini and Leighton Baines, both men agreed to have a little chin-wag to ensure the first and soften the blow of the second.
United’s persistent pursuit of a player with no intention of leaving will ultimately show the former Arsenal man just how much Barcelona want him (to play second-fiddle). While United fans will be appeased by the fact that their club tried to sign a world class talent; although in recent years they have cornered the market in trying.
Do you have any alternative views on how the secret meeting may have gone? If so, let us know…
image: © Ines11thiago