Who is rich enough and stupid enough to pay Liverpool's £17m asking price for Andy Carroll?

Andy Carroll Warms Up

Liverpool have put a whopping asking price on the Geordie striker as they attempt to recoup half of the ludicrous sum they spent on the player. Any chance of someone paying that much for him?

Every now and again you read a sensational story that makes you shudder your head clear your eyes and do a Tom and Jerry like jaw drop at the absolute absurdity of such a notion.

Has the world gone mad? Have I gone mad? Is up, down and left now right? When did I step into the Twilight Zone?

There’s someone on the wing …. some…thing; in my best William Shatner impression.

‘Liverpool still plan to sell striker Andy Carroll for £17m’

No I definitely think seeing a gremlin-like creature on the wing of a mobile passenger aircraft is far more likely than that ever happening.

I mean who on earth is going to spend such an absurd amount of money on the Geordie striker. Sure he is good. Yes he even scored a couple of decent goals last weekend but after two disappointing seasons in a row Liverpool would be lucky to get a quarter of the £35 million they flushed down the loo on the 24-year-old.

But this is football so who has the money and the lack of sense to pay for such a player?

Here are five candidates…

Paris Saint-Germain

They certainly have the cash and the French league may just suit the physical style of Carroll. But they have been focusing their transfer efforts on bringing in really world class quality. Carroll may be occasionally good but world-class he is not.

Anzhi Makhachkala

Zenit St Petersburg or Rubin Kazan … essentially any of the oil-rich Russian teams who are always looking to bring in a new name. The biting weather may also suit this lad of the North East but it just does not seem likely; as successful as it might be.

Monaco

If you are to believe every single transfer rumour going the only thing richer than Monaco the principality is Monaco the football club at the moment.

The Ligue 2 side are on their way back to the top-flight and are bankrolled by a wealthy Russian. Could Claudio Ranieri offer him a way out?

Newcastle United

It seems The Toon may just be able to scrape the funds together to bring Andy home but it could be seen as a backward step; although they do need another centre forward option.

Surely there are cheaper alternatives?

West Ham United

The Hammers certainly could scrape the funds together if necessary but I don’t think they will want to spend over £10 million for the player after his injury ravaged spell in East London.

Then there is always the other option. Carroll is a big lad well known for his ability to shatter jaws with one swing of his powerful left hook. Maybe he could act as security for some rich oligarch instead of being paid to play football by one.

The point I am trying to make is that Carroll is likely to be at Liverpool next season or out on-loan if The Reds don’t wise up and realise they are going to take a massive hit on his transfer fee.

£17 million; pull the other one.

image: © dannymol

Register for LIVERPOOL team updates

Register for NEWCASTLE UNITED team updates

Register for HITC Sport - Daily Dispatch