I always tell my spouse I get a bad bonus

Wedding On The Beach

Telling the wife that you bagged a bad bonus might be a bit of a challenge for some bankers this comp cycle, but canny males have been doing this for years (no matter how much they get paid out).

eFINANCIAL CAREERS has published a kind of idiot's guide' on this subject:

How to tell your wife - or husband - you got a bad bonus

But one banker told Here Is The City that guys who are likely to be stressed this year when they reveal their bonus numbers to their better halves have only themselves to blame.

'The biggest mistake a banker can make is to tell a spouse how much they really bag. I always tell my wife I get a bad bonus. It just makes it easier, and stops all the arguments over money'.

'And you never know when you'll need to access a secret stash (think divorce!)', he continued.

In the meantime, the French are up in arms over the remarks of Maurice Taylor, the American CEO of US tyremaker Titan, who suggested he wouldn't invest in France as French workers only actually work for 3 hours a day.

One English banker who works at a French bank in London told us: 'Not only do our French bosses work little more than 3 hours a day, they usually walk off with most of the bonus pool!'.

Finally, it was 2 years ago that Goldman Sachs realised that Limousines can't float, and acquired two new private ferry boats to shuttle some of their staff from midtown Manhattan to their operations center in Jersey City, NJ, just across the Hudson river.

The ferries were equipped with plush booths, flat panel TV screens, well appointed cabins, flash loos, and came complete with one other vital thing that the public ferries used by other firm employees allegedly do not have - fully functioning state-of-the-art life rafts.

An insider told us at the time that the ferries would be neighbourhood friendly (much quieter than their public service poor relations, and more environmentally sound), and that there will be places available for non-Goldman staff.

But the $5m ferries only came into operation this week, and the firm is being rather coy about the reasons for the delay - perhaps it's something to do with the fact that Goldman staff no longer appear to be able to walk on water!

A Goldman spokesperson said: 'Prior to launching the boats, there were several requirements and checks that took longer than expected, but which have now been fully satisfied with all authorities and regulators'.

image: © Ed Fladung

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