The 1970’s was a time of flares, big hair, brightly coloured clothing, psychedelic drugs and hippies promiscuously fornicating with one another on every spare patch of grass that they would come across. It was also the decade that “soccer” got big in America.
Due in part to a club named New York Cosmos and the most famous Brazilian football player to ever promote the use of rubber sheaths during intercourse.
It was on June 10th 1975 that Pele arrived to generate mass interest in “Soccer” in the United States. His popularity at the time was suggested to be on a similar level to that of the Pope, which netted the Brazilian legend a salary of $1.4m per year. New York Cosmos also worked his contracts in a manner that meant that Pele would pay the least amount of tax possible, including one contract that suggested that Pele was a “recording artist.” One year later Italian striker Giorgio Chinaglia joined the revolution, followed by Brazilian captain Carlos Alberto and 1974 World Cup Winner Franz Beckenbauer the following season.
It marked a very successful period for the New York club, with average attendances in the 40,000’s and English writer Gavin Newsham naming the Cosmos as, “the most glamorous team in world football.” But shortly after Pele retired the team’s fortunes began to decline. The media began to lose interest and in 1984 the club folded with average attendances down to 12,817.
Now, just like Jesus Christ and the Stone Roses, the New York Cosmos are in the early workings of a second coming. In January Kung-Fu expert, seagull philosopher, and Manchester United messiah Eric Cantona was appointed as Director of Soccer at the club. With the Cosmos rebuilt they are seeking an MSL license and see David Beckham as the man to spearhead that charge. The club are apparently offering Beckham a position that would make him a joint owner of the club as well as their star player.
Sources at New York Cosmos have been quoted as saying, "David has confirmed his interest and we expect an announcement before Christmas."
Beckham has already made it official that he will leave LA Galaxy after next weekends MLS Cup final. Despite being 37 years old the midfielder is still hugely lust after, namely due to his everlasting prowess as a marketing directors wet dream. Australian “soccer” is looking to add the Englishman to their ranks alongside Del Piero and Emile Heskey, Zlatan Ibrahimovic is reported to be trying to tempt him in the direction of Paris, and Harry Redknapp also seems interested in leaning out of his car window to announce the arrival of Mr Beckham at Queens Park Rangers.