The top five dumbest transfer rumours...

Tottenham, Chelsea, Manchester United, Arsenal and Manchester City all feature.

Transfer rumours are a curious breed, despite all evidence to the contrary, sometimes tenuous links between clubs and stars just won’t go away. Here’s this season’s dumbest January transfer rumours.

First and foremost is any rumour that links any club with a January move for Andy Carroll – it’s not just unlikely, it impossible – the Englishman has already been registered by both Liverpool and West Ham United where he is on loan and therefore, under FA regulations, cannot play in any domestic competitions for another club. Sorry folks, but two clubs in one season is the limit and thems the rules.

Next in our run-down is the rumour that Chelsea will exchange Fernando Torres for Radamel Falcao. Whilst the Blues are desperate to sign the Athletico Madrid man, they want him to provide relief for Torres who at the moment is struggling to hold the fort since the departure of Didier Drogba. There’s no way they’d send the Spaniard the other way, is there? – And, at any rate, Torres would be reluctant to leave.

The most ridiculously priced rumour has to go to the link between Paris Saint-Germain and Wayne Rooney – for, depending on which source, either £100 million or £150 million. First of all, Sir Alex Ferguson hasn’t bought Robin van Persie just to let Rooney go and secondly Rooney isn’t worth that much. And, on top of that, Rooney can barely speak English – can you imagine him trying to learn French?

Another one for United – whilst they were linked heavily with Polish striker Robert Lewandowski in the summer, their purchase of van Persie should have shut the door on that one. They already have van Persie, Rooney, Javier Hernandez, and Danny Welbeck who can barely get a look in. They’re not going to shell out another twenty-plus million on another striker – in fact they’re still trying to get rid of Macheda.

And finally reports suggesting that Arsenal will bid for Edin Dzeko are completely delusions – Arsene Wenger wouldn’t want him, he wouldn’t want to go there, and Manchester City wouldn’t want to sell him for less than twenty-odd million which just isn’t Wenger-price. Whilst he might not be thrilled to play third fiddle at the Etihad, he definitely wouldn’t want to at Arsenal. 

Wenger has just bought Lukas Podolski and Olivier Giroud and I doubt he’ll be in the market for anyone with that kind of price-tag. Links with Arsenal and Edinson Cavani or Falcao which have surfaces in recent days and weeks are equally as unlikely.

Which rumours do you believe are absolute non-starters?

image: © andrew_j_w

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