Investment Bankers End Up Sleep-Deprived Substance Abusers With Long-Term Illness Problems

Beer Bottles

Yep, soon-to-be published results of a 10-year study which followed the welfare of around two dozen investment bankers reveals that a career in the industry does you no good.

The Wall Street Journal reports that a University of Southern California researcher found 'insomnia, alcoholism, heart palpitations, eating disorders and an explosive temper in some of the roughly two-dozen entry-level investment bankers she shadowed fresh out of business school'.

The study, to be published in the next issue of the Administrative Science Quarterly, reveals that by the fourth year many of the bankers were a mess. Some were sleep-deprived, others substance abusers. And still others have been diagnosed 'with long-term health conditions like Crohn's disease, psoriasis, rheumatoid arthritis and thyroid disorders'.

Here's one story which may, or may not, have been caused by stress.

In May 2005 a VP at JPMorgan Chase's institutional cash management unit allegedly jumped out from behind a tree on a popular New Jersey hiking trail and exposed himself to a female passer-by (we know the guy's name, but it was 7 years ago and see no reason to print it again). The banker is said to have emerged from the tree wearing nothing but a condom (and a hopeful smile). As luck would have it, the woman he exposed himself to was an off-duty police officer!

When the female officer pulled out a can of Mace defense spray and a mobile phone, the banker is said to have quickly put on his shorts and legged it back to his car. The police officer was able to get a note of the license plate number before he drove away, and the car was later traced back to him via Hertz rentals. The banker was later charged with assault and lewdness.

There's nowt as queer as folks, and working long and hard hours in the financial markets industry probably doesn't help.

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