Spare a thought for....
The former Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS) CEO has had a tough few years. He lost his job over the financial crisis (and also his reputation), became the poster child in the UK for greed and arrogance because of the size of his pension pot, was outed as an alleged adulterer after allegations that he'd had an affair with a member of his bank staff, and there have been reports in the media last week that his wife has had enough and kicked him out.
And now he's featured in a soon-to-be published book, Masters Of Nothing: The Crash And How It Will Happen Again, and the Daily Mail reports that it highlights 'details of Sir Fred's (alleged) menacing management style and (alleged) extravagance'.
Here's a list of some of the claims said to be made in the book and elsewhere about Sir Fred and expenditure over at The Royal Bank of Scotand during his time at the helm:
1. Catering staff in the bank's Edinburgh HQ building were allegedly threatened with disciplinary action unless they ensured that Sir Fred and his guests were served with the right kind of biscuits with their tea.
2. RBS staff allegedly 'went into panic mode' when a window cleaner fell off a ladder in Sir Fred's office a broke a small model aeroplane.
3. A lobby area in the HQ was redecorated with wallpaper allegedly costing £1,000-a-roll, after someone made a small stain in one area.
4. Staff allegedly had fresh fruit flown into the HQ building daily from Paris.
5. The bank was allegedly paying £100,000-a-month on part-time chauffers.
6. RBS allegedly twice changed £100-a-yard carpeting in two huge boardrooms, after Sir Fred is said to have expressed a dislike for 'the shade of amber'.
7. An engineer was allegedly kept on stand-by to switch off the fire alarms in the event that bank executives wished to smoke.
8. The bank allegedly bought four executive car parking spaces close to Edinburgh airport, so that Sir Fred wouldn't have far to walk when he flew in on his private Falcon executive jet.
9. A 'food preparation area' was allegedly built close to Sir Fred's suite of offices, so that food would arrive while it was still nice and hot.
But times have clearly changed at the (now) UK government majority-owned financial institution, now ably run by Stephen Hester. One banker told us: 'It's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than it is to spend money over at RBS. It's practically a sackable offence just thinking about racking up expenses these days'.