It's only eight days, 14 hours and 384,234,235,093,123,126 cubic litres of hot air to the closing of the transfer window.
A tough week lies ahead, so let's get Tuesday out of the way quick sticks, in and out without too much collateral damage to the spirit, eh.
Having got shot of Sotirios Kyrgiakos, Liverpool are in the market for a defender to sit alongside Martin Skrtel on the bench. In a break from the norm, they've lined up a player with some vowels in his surname, the 20-year-old Uruguayan Sebastian Coates. Scott Dann is also a target.
Meantime, they're also pondering a bid for Wolverhampton Wanderers' Kevin Doyle, and a return for the poor man's Luis Suárez, Craig Bellamy, who has been deemed surplus to requirements at just about everywhere, but specifically at the moment Manchester City. Sunderland, Stoke City, Bolton Wanderers, Celtic and – please suppress a giggle, spreadsheet fans – Everton are also interested.
Yes, it's all happening at Liverpool. Queens Park Rangers want Joe Cole. Milan are after Alberto Aquilani. Bolton Wanderers will sign David Ngog, in addition to the Manchester City duo Shaun Wright Phillips and Dedryck Boyata. And Dirk Kuyt has insisted he's staying put despite strong interest from Internazionale, who are looking to inject a lack of pace into their front line.
Elsewhere, the Birmingham City defender Liam Ridgewell is a loan target for Everton and Celtic after his move to West Bromwich Albion fell through. Everton are particularly interested in making the deal permanent once they scrape together some cash, says Bill Kenwr … no, we can't in all honesty finish that, we'd just be messing you about.
West Ham United want arch social networker Joey Barton and the Leeds striker Max Gradel, though the latter has his sights set higher. "If I keep playing well, I'll end up somewhere better," he says. Leeds?
Wolverhampton Wanderers are planning to offer daily employment to workshy layabout Jimmy Bullard.
And Newcastle are cooking up a scheme to spend £7m on the Sochaux striker Modibo Maiga.
Seven down, 384,234,235,093,123,119 to go.
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