Football transfer rumours: Ashley Young to Old Trafford?

Football transfer rumours: Ashley Young to Old Trafford?My dog's got no nose.How does he smell?Terrible.

Ashley Young is on his way to Manchester United.

My wife went to the West Indies.
Jamaica?
No, she went of her own accord.

Chelsea are interested in Real Madrid and Brazil midfielder Kaká.

Why the long face?
My husband says I must choose between him and golf.
Sorry to hear it.
Me too, I'm really going to miss him.

Liverpool will pick up Gaël Clichy if Arsenal don't renew his contract, though Juventus are also waiting in the wings.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Doctor.
Doctor who?
You just said it.

Tottenham and Newcastle are sniffing around former Roma and Brazil striker Adriano.

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
None, the light bulb has to want to change.

Blackpool want Portsmouth striker David Nugent.

I'm going to have a divorce and my wife is dead.
Oh God.
Yes, I know, it's bad, isn't it?

Powered by Guardian.co.ukThis article was written by Scott Murray, for guardian.co.uk on Friday 11th March 2011 10.12 Europe/London

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