Online Dating: Insights & Realisations

The Bar Damien King

Research done by a Dutch dating site came up with some interesting points. Apparently, on a first date, men prefer women to be dressed casual rather than in a revealing outfit. I’m not sure whether this might be a Dutch thing, but it did make me wonder. What should you wear on a first date?

My personal view is one should dress as one normally does. Which in my case means a suit (or equivalent outfit) when it’s an after work thing, and generally something casual on a weekend. Unless, of course, the location called for something requiring a bit more effort.

One of my friends has a different view. She makes the extra effort just to make sure she makes a lasting impression, whether it goes beyond the first date or not. Guess she’s got a point, to be honest. If it doesn’t go beyond the first date, he’ll still be thinking about you as the one that got away.

They found more interesting bits and pieces, too. The major turn-offs on a first date are lack of conversation, bad table manners, and someone who only has eyes for what’s going on around them - and not the date. No surprises there, really. Interestingly enough, they found 84% of the women would “go Dutch”, whereas a whopping 78% of the men would prefer to pay the whole bill. Hold on - these are Dutch men they’re talking about! Perhaps not all is lost.

The one that really made me smile, though, was the fact that more men than women pick a romantic comedy for a first date movie. Sweet.

As for my dating front, it's been fairly quiet, but I did meet a couple of very nice guys over the holiday season. The first one was lovely, and we spent an hour or so over a late afternoon coffee having interesting conversation about books, films, and travel. All was going well until he kept on insisting on kissing, which put me off a bit. And without too much in common, it's unlikely I'll see him again.

The second one I almost did not meet since he’s technically out of my self-imposed age range. But there was something in his messages that made me agree to meet him anyway. Turns out he lived in the same foreign country I did around the same time. We compared notes, had a great big laugh, and parted with a peck on the cheek and the promise of a next date. Now, I am not looking for more friends as I have enough of those already, but I may just make an exception. Let’s see how the next date works out.

Then I went out with a few friends. Went to the bar, and there was this lovely guy who chatted me up. I have to say that was a lot more fun that trying to tag someone based on a vague description and a blurry photograph.