How do you avoid disasters at the office drinks? You know, of course, that danger is lurking around the corner of the fourth Chardonnay...
Sometimes people forget that office drinks are a work activity - your boss will be there. Kicking off at 5pm, there is free alcohol, and you've had a hard week at work. It's party time! So yes, please, I'll have that fourth Chardonnay on a lining of three crisps. And look, there's Henry the partner. I'll tell him what think of the new billing policy. It's crap. He will totally appreciate my input. We are a transparent organisation! And hey, there's is Derek the IT guy. Sure those khakis are pulled up to his armpits. But under those Specsavers glasses is a charming little man. Let's all go to B@1 after this. Party!
Bad office monkey! On an ordinary Friday, you make all the classic office-drink-related mistakes. Mistake one: drinking too much on an empty stomach. As a result you are prone to making the second mistake. Sucking face with a colleague at the office party. Eew. It's not a school disco you know. Kiss more than one colleague in public and you're the kebab shop of the legal world. Cheap and always open.
The third mistake is thinking that the office party is a place to share you opinion. Honesty is overrated. Nobody really needs to know what you really think of work or your new colleague.
So how do you do it, office drinks?
Easy. You drink three glasses tops, smile at everyone, and leave at a decent time to meet your friends in town. There you can fall off tables and smooch all of the weirdos that you'd like.