Let's Play Secretary

My Little Pony Stamp

You be the secretary and I'll be the lawyer. OK?

When I was six I used to play a game called Secretary. I would sit at the dinner table, pretending it was my desk. My mum would give me a stack of papers and I’d 'file' them in neat little piles. I would also type out letters, give them an official My Little Pony stamp, and deliver them personally to my dad or to the neighbours.

If there was a performance review for six-year old secretaries it would read: 'Enthusiastic and proactive, with an eye for detail and a love for the job.'

When I grew up, different dream jobs passed. Veterinarian, astronaut, ballet dancer. None of them stuck, until I was 24, and I decided to play a game called Lawyer.

This was a job where you could run around wearing high heels and chic little suits, typing stuff, and pushing paper around in neat little piles. Perfect! And, instead of playing Secretary, a real-life secretary actually came with the job. It was going to be so much fun!

Unfortunately, my secretary and I are definitely not playing the same game. This lady does not think it is fun to help me file papers or type letters, and certain does not deliver them personally to whomever is concerned. She does like to play Solitaire on the computer all day, and gives me the evil eye every time I crawl into her office to ask whether, if it's not too much fuss, you know, if she could possibly help me scan that SPA and, erm, send it? To the client? No? "That’s totally fine. I guess I could do it myself. I know how a computer works. Sorry to bother you!"

So after I finish doing my secretary's job, I'll get cracking on that engagement letter. If only I still had that My Little Pony stamp to make it official. My client would be most impressed.